A Call to be Second

Today was a really good day for me. Even though I haven't accomplished everything that I need to for school as of yet things are still good.

I had the day off of work today, which was really nice because I've worked the last couple Sunday's in a row. I have found that when I work Sunday and I cannot go to church my entire week is thrown off because my brain seems to forget what day of the week it is. So today I was able to go to church and it felt great to be worshipping with fellow believers this morning. I was not at my home church however, because I stayed in the city yesterday to go to the Wonderful Wedding Show with my best friend and then our college and career group came into the city to go skating and came to hang out at my apartment.

I knew that I had the day off and I knew that I was desperately craving fellowship with other believers so I decided to go to Oasis Community Church with my roommate and her boyfriend. They have been attending this church pretty regularly when they are in the city for school and I know others who attend this church and have said that it is really good and the doctrine is sound so I thought I would try it out.

I am so glad that I decided to go to Oasis this morning and not some other church that is also close to my apartment because the message that the pastor gave was very good and something that I needed. (It was a message that I am sure many people need to hear and be reminded of often.)The pastor spoke on Matthew 6:25-34. He was focusing on making sure our priorities are straight which will help us diminish our worries. Some of the notes that I took at the service include these:

• Do all that you can do and then rest in God.
• Worry is a faith issue. When going through circumstances it is important to trust that God has my best interests in mind.
• Worry is practical atheism.
• He knows what I need. I need to trust in that and that He will bring me to it in the right time.
• When God is our first priority these worries soon disappear and God takes care of them and me.
• Put God's kingdom ahead of my own. "And all these things will be given to you as well" - God will show up and provide what I need because He will be glorified through me putting His needs and kingdom ahead of my own.
• Matthew 6:34 "So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own."

One other great reminder that Pastor Dustin emphasized during his message today is that to make sure our priorities are straight are by serving God in what ever way He calls us to in the moment. It may be simply shutting off whatever form of media you are 'enjoying' and read His word, it may be going out and physically serving, it ma be monetary giving to God's kingdom or any number of other things. It is in this call to serve God that we will begin to worry less because His will is being done and He takes care of His creation which is exactly what we are. We, as humans, are a piece of God's creation that He loves so dearly that He planned our lives out even before we were born (Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw me unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.") It is in this promise that I can rest upon. If I am to put God first and myself second He will take care of me.

a few ramblings

I am finished the first week of my last semester of college and I have come out on the other side of it with a ton of reading to do and a bunch of assignments for the semester. There is so much that I have to do and I have found myself, numerous times in the last week, wondering how on earth I am going to accomplish all of it. I am going to have to apply myself to my school work harder than I ever have in my entire academic career but in the end I know that it will all be worth it.

An update on funding for school: I received notification from student aid, and praise God my school is covered. This is a great relief as I did not know how I would pay for school if student aid did not come through. The only thing I am now needing to figure out is how to pay for simple stuff like rent and groceries. I know that all things will work themselves out but sometimes it is a little frustrating not knowing everything that God has already planned out for me. Again, I am being taught all about faith and I have a feeling that this is a lesson that I will continue to learn pretty much daily for the next four months and into the rest of my life.

And now something completely unrelated. My group of friends were hanging out last night, like we do most Saturday nights, and we were talking about faith and religion and being used by God. Our entire conversation was a very good one but it would be a really long blog post if I tried to summarize it all, however one part that I took from it that I would like to share is about being used by God. We were talking about how some people are more gifted at evangelism than others and how some people don't really feel comfortable 'leading' someone to Christ. This really got me to thinking because as much as I can be outgoing with my close friends I am really more of an introvert than some people would realize. I realized that I am one of those people who really don't think I am qualified to 'lead' another person to Christ. This is why I am really glad and blessed to know that God does the work and He may choose to use me in some way but that it is never on my merit that someone turns to faith in Christ.
It was also during this conversation when a quote that one of my professors at Prov has said numerous times (I believe it was Kara, and I believe that the quote is by Francis Assisi) "Preach the gospel and when necessary use words." This is a great quote and I think that it is something that we should live our lives by. I do not mean to say that we should not talk about our faith, however, what I do mean is that our faith should be seen in our actions and how we live our lives first and foremost. If this is the case it may open up a conversation that would otherwise be something that is difficult for an introvert such as myself to have about my faith with another person.
I believe this to be similar to what Jesus is saying in Matthew 7:15-20. "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."

Blind Faith

It has been a long time since I last even thought about blogging, or journalling, or documenting what is going on in my life in any way. However, there have bee some pretty big changes in my life in the last little while and it seems like a great time to start writing again.

For the last three and a half years I have been pursuing a career in the field of social work. I have been in school with a BSW as my end goal and things were going pretty well. That is until this last semester. As I continued through my social work classes I continued to see areas in my life where I needed to figure stuff out before I could help others solve their own problems. I spent a lot of time thinking and praying about what I should do about this little dilemma. Needless to say that this previous semester was really difficult for me to put effort into my classes because I wasn't sure if I should be at Booth or if I should be somewhere else, pursuing something else.

Near the end of the semester I received my answer, I should not finish my social work degree right now. This was one of the scariest thoughts I've had in my life, I mean I have spent a lot of time and money working towards this degree and I was going to be graduating in April. What did it mean that God was telling me to put my BSW on hold. After I received this answer I needed to know what I should be doing instead. Should I take some time off of school and work? Should I go to school somewhere else and study something else? What am I supposed to do? Thankfully God answered these questions for me as well.

I am returning to Providence for one semester to receive a BA in social sciences with a focus on psychology and sociology. Prov is where I started my education back in 2008 and it will be great to graduate from there in April. Yes, I am still graduating in April, which is great. God really worked out all the details that were scaring me about making this new decision. God even helped me to tell my parents about my choice in person, instead of being a coward and doing it over the phone as I had originally planned.

Now that I have trusted God through all of these changes in my life with nothing but blind faith I need to have the same blind faith to trust that somehow I will have the funds I need to pay for school and continue living at my apartment in the city. Faith is not always easy, it is not always my first instinct but it is what I need to cling to for everything.